LAN Parties Common Do's and Don't

If like me, you don’t have many friends who are into gaming, or are in a situation where your gamer friends live a significant distance away, then the mere mention of LAN parties gives you nerdgasms. You prepare for weeks, sharpening your skills, going over your silly comebacks and upgrading your PC (upgrades before every LAN party. Man, if wishes were horses…). Unfortunately, for gamers like me, (Kenyans and people in most developing countries) LAN events are few and far in between- some bad, some great.

For the entirety of this post, I'll be using two terms: LAN event & LAN party. The former refers to a larger one that is for complete strangers and normally arranged by a group or company, while the former refers to one that is arranged by an individual for a small group of friends. Edit: I’m halfway through writing this and specifying each is turning into a chore. I’ll use them interchangeably and you smarty-pantses can just infer.

Below are a few key issues I feel should be paid attention to if an organizer wishes to host an enjoyable LAN party/ event. If the post is comprehensive enough, we could promote it to ‘Guidebook status’… Yes? Yeeeeeees? 

1. Games

This is something that most people think is just an automatic given and that at a LAN event the game lineup will "work itself out". However, people should really know that if you don’t get this part right your event is a failure even if you get the next points right. Remember: six hours of installations does not make a LAN party .

• Always announce the games for the event early on. This gives people a chance to familiarize themselves with them, see if their PCs can handle them and if necessary seek help from fellow gamers. Also, if there happen to be too many people that can’t run a certain game, the organizers can scrap it and find a suitable replacement.
• Unless it is an event set up for a specific game or a competitive event, it is advisable to have a variety of games spanning across multiple genres. Different people have different tastes, and you need to accommodate ALL your guests. C’mon Mr. Host, let everyone have a chance to pwn shine.
• Not everyone has the best rig in the world so try to have some low-spec games, which may not be very fancy graphic-wise, but are still fun to play. If you aren’t sure what to pick, seek guidance from your guests. Bonus points for getting them involved.

2. Venue 

Contrary to popular belief, a good venue is more than lots of square-footage. For the parties, the organizer may not have many available choices, but they should always try to host it somewhere centralized and easily accessible so that everyone has an easy time getting there. The organizer should take into account the people that have huge rigs.

Gaming involves a lot of sitting (My brain to me: “No shit Sherlock!”). Always make sure that everyone has a place where they can sit for close to 6 hours without having aches and pains because if you aren’t comfortable you won’t have fun. You don’t have to have high-end seats or anything, just get something people won’t break their backs on.

I'm not sure about you guys; maybe it’s because I’m an unfit, lazy, bum, but gaming to me is basically like physical sports and the more intense it gets, I tend to sweat a bit. If this is the case with most of us, combine that with the fact that computers emit a considerable amount of heat, and you have a recipe for a stuffy room. Stuffy rooms = sleepy, uncomfy guests. Never compromise on ventilation.

3. Proper security

Thankfully, in my opinion, this one has never really been an issue. The people that attend LAN parties are 99% good folk that wouldn’t try to steal your shit. That’s something I’m really really proud of. Don’t get me wrong though, there’s always one or two douchebags people at these parties that have a bone to pick with everyone IN GAME, but that’s where their vindictiveness ends. That’s more than acceptable. So yeah. Security… not such a big deal. Just one of those things I strongly felt needed mentioning. There’s still the obvious, though: Don’t host in a risky area. Maybe (I hope not) as the number of events increases in number, more malicious people will start to take note, but we gamers are a preeeeetty tough crowd (Hahaha!). I think we’ll be just fine.

4. Feed the monster

 First, let’s talk to the party hosts. If you are having people over, get them food. If that turns into a logistical nightmare, I’m sure your friends would not mind chipping in for a good meal seeing as it is absolutely in their best interest! So talk about this in advance with them if you can. And you, guest; you’re going to a LAN party, not a g-d food fest! Be considerate of everyone else, and if you reeeeally need that much food, carry your own. Nobody’s stopping you.

For events however, it’s a bit tricky I think. Most events here are usually hosted for free. Maybe catering to all attendees is costly. We already appreciate the effort and can’t demand anything from you except an early warning. The gamers will appreciate a venue with a restaurant/ fast food joint nearby. If there aren’t any food joints nearby you could always arrange for sandwich bars or something. Gamers cannot live on games alone. They also need Mountain Dew. And sandwiches. And crisps.

5. Always go the extra mile 

Be it an event or party, you should always try to have something extra that makes yours stand out. Have activities other than gaming that provide a good distraction. For parties this may be a little tricky. Maybe have a Wii Station. OK, technically use of the Wii constitutes gaming, but the physical aspect of it provides a completely different angle. Best. Distraction. Ever. So, anything along that line, including PS Move and Kinect will provide tons of fun.

Gaming events provide a great platform for promotion. Try to get people/companies that are looking to market themselves to come and showcase their products. Usually they want to attract attention at the event so they’ll have some way (freebies, activities) to do that. Overall, the gamers are happy. A good example of this is the company that had the archery booth at Naiccon.

6. Force interaction

Yes. Force. I’m not asking; this is a command and the most important part. Be it for gaming or not, parties and events are about having fun and meeting new people. Always try to make people interact with everyone else. If it’s a party try to invite a new person every time. You’d be surprised how monotonous gaming with the same people over and over can get. If it’s an event, try to have group activities that foster cooperation.

7. Proper advertising/notification

This partly builds on the previous point. The reason I’m saying we need a proper community is because my personal experience with events, conventions and such is that people don’t know they’re happening. For me, not long ago, if I didn’t get the low down from my brother, I’d never find out about an event. There are great communities like Gaming for Kenya that try to support other gamers. Therefore, if you want to host, you should look for such gaming communities and forums to help you get the word out to as many people as possible.

In that same spirit, I’ve started a new section on this page. To your right you’ll notice an ‘Upcoming Geek Events’ panel. Unfortunately, from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t show on mobile(for now). If you would like to plug your gaming related event, website or page, send me an email at 

Blaqnificent121@gmail.com.

IT G MA

Games That Would Make Great Movies

Though video games are mostly about gameplay, once in a while they come up with great storylines that are able to keep us enthralled the whole time. In the interest of tall tales and mythical lore alike, here are some games whose storylines are big-screen-potential great.

One caveat (that’s fancy-people-speak for ‘rule’), before we proceed: To be able to make it onto the list, the game CANNOT have a web series that is produced or supported by the makers of the game. So, that rules out Team Fortress, Halo and Payday. Also, games that are made in movie/ narrative fashion like Heavy Rain and Beyond Two Souls are not considered… because that would be cheating.

Since I'll be talking about the games’ stories, there are spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

1. Half Life

Last time I talked about this game,- or more specifically, the last time I DIDN’T talk about this game- I said it was one of the most amazing franchises in history. Being one of the first games ever to use scripted sequences instead of cut scenes to progress its stories; it also gave us relatable and loveable characters that have been etched in the minds of gamers worldwide. The game’s main story line starts us off in New Mexico where experiments on an unknown crystalline artifact rip open a rift between the Black Mesa laboratory and the Xen dimension. Enter Gordon Freeman… the brave man who sets out on a mission with fellow scientists to stop Xen’s aliens while at the same time avoiding a government unit hell-bent on eliminating all the survivors of the Black Mesa incident. Fast-forward 20 years into the future. Freeman saves the world and awakens from stasis sleep to find that a new race of aliens have teamed up with humans and formed a group called the Combine. Gordon freeman is again forced to help other Black Mesa Survivors start a revolution, kill the Yeti and hopefully get noticed by Senpai. That last part is untrue. Go and play the game :)

2. BioShock

If you ever wanted to get lost in a world that is both fantastic and ridiculous, something never seen before but still grounded and believable, then the world of BioShock is something you should check out. With its great themes and plot twists that will shatter the floodgates that hold back your feels, BioShock would make a damn good movie. The series not only has a great crusader, but also puts some effort into the antagonist characters- even the low-level enemies make you feel bad for killing them. Frequent killing of ‘little sisters’ and their protectors (‘big daddies’) will eventually make you question your sadistic tendencies. This is another story whose detail I don’t want to give away so, would you kindly play the game.

3. Borderlands

I’m not gonna lie… this title almost didn’t make it here because of the recently birthed Tales from the Borderlands spin-off. I almost put it in the same category as Beyond Two Souls and Heavy Rain but then I thought, why make a movie of this when we could get a series. I mean, the game is massive with a huge roster of great characters. It would be pretty hard deciding which ones make it into a film and which ones don’t, so why not just have all of them. And let’s be clear… when I say all of them, I don’t mean most of them. I mean ALL of them. From the vault hunters we have all come to love, to the quirky and crazy "friends" we make in the mystical world of Pandora, to the great enemies with personality like Handsome Jack and even maybe Face McShooty, we couldn’t possibly justify leaving anyone behind. If the characters of Borderlands aren’t your cup of tea, there’s a cool story about aliens and a secret vault that can grant you anything. Oh… and Claptrap. If there’s a reason we want to see a Borderlands adaptation of any form, it’s Claptrap. Also Tiny Tina.

4. Assassin’s Creed

If there is a game whose film debut is long overdue it has to be Assassin’s Creed. The franchise has for years done whatever the heck it wants to history; attacking great historical figures from the head honchos at the Vatican to the founding fathers of America. Again, I know the Assassin’s Creed: Lineage short films might put this game on the "banned" list, but they just proved what we all know: that the game has great potential for a movie adaptation with all assassins being connected in one way or another. Altair? Ezio? Desmond? Your guess is as good as mine.

5. God of War

Before I even start talking about why this would be a great movie, let’s all agree that no one in this world will be able to portray Kratos because it is impossible to find someone that angry. Fun fact: Daniel Craig was apparently supposed to do it, but that didn’t pan out. Unless Goldberg undergoes the best coaching to help him realize the true potential of his sub-par acting ability, this movie will never get a good adaptation. Moving on, I personally feel that Greek mythology in general hasn’t been done justice in the movie world. What better way to redeem it than one of the best action films in history? My early gaming days were filled with hours upon hours of killing gods and boat captains (Poor guy. Kratos killed him THREE effing times). I’m pretty sure we’d all be cheering Kratos’ madness on the big screen as well.

6. Far Cry

If you fell in love with Heath Ledger’s Joker then you will love the psychopaths that Far Cry has brought us. These people are so insanely fun that you feel bad ‘cause there isn’t a rally-with-them option in the game (except for Far Cry 4 where you can wait for a few minutes in the opening chapter and you’ll get to end the game early and join Pagan Min). Told you there would be spoilers. Anyway Far cry would be a great movie because in an industry filled with pretty faces to rope in audiences, (I’m looking at you, Loki!) it would be fun to see an antagonist whose greatest feature is pure madness. A character we don’t want to die not because he suddenly saves people but because he just always lights up the screen. Sound familiar?

7. The Last of Us

I might have banned the other two PlayStation exclusives but this one managed to slip through the cracks ‘cause it has BOTH a great storyline and amazing gameplay. The Last of Us has to be by far the GREATEST zombie apocalypse game that involves an older man taking care of a younger kid who isn’t their child but treats them as such and together they face zombies and maniacal human beings.I know this sounds like The walking Dead (game) but... OK. Wait. Actually, it IS a lot like The Walking Dead. Anyway, all jokes aside, this game is another great example of characters we fall in love with and become so afraid to lose. I’m sure that if there were a movie adaptation it would be just as heart wrenching.

They came close to a movie adaptation with ‘The Last of Us: One Night Live’- it was a stage performance. A friend of mine heard about it a day in advance and hadn’t played the game so he sat up all night watching a 5-hour gameplay video, and finished just in time to stream it at 0500H the next morning on Twitch. He says it was kinda worth it, and that “they didn’t let the people that were streaming see the ‘special ending’, which sucked.” You can watch that stage performance here.

Fun fact: There may be a movie in the works, and Arya Stark will play Ellie. Apropos? I think so. Rhymes, bitch!

So, those are the games I would love to see. If you have any additions (or deletions), sound off in the comments.

The Gods of Olympus have abandoned me, now there is no hope!

New Years Resolutions we all want to Hear

Most People probably hate the "new year new me" bullshit that other people post at the beginning of every year. Sometimes, however, we dream of waking up one day and finding that those people have promised to make change or do something we have been begging them to do. In that regard, here are some things we all wish to hear in 2015 or anytime soon.

1."We will stop all inter-gamer wars."

If you truly love gaming you know that it is about having as much fun as possible and the only actual conflict that should exist should be in game. I don't understand why some gamers find it necessary to enter a dick measuring contest over Battlefield vs. Call of Duty or Xbox vs Playstation or… the most useless one… PC vs. console.

In a world where gamers are constantly fighting to dispel various stereotypes including how gaming is childish, I find it heartbreaking to see these arguments. Let’s hope we will get to see the formation of the true master race.

2."We will release Red Dead for PC."

Personally, I don't mind Xbox and PS4 exclusives. But when there is a great game like Red Dead Redemption involved, that is where I draw the line. For months we waited for the PC release but Rockstar gave the PC community a big middle finger. Let’s hope the same doesn’t happen with GTA V after it being postponed three times L

3."We’re working on a good superman game."

If you have never played a superman game, let me try and explain how they are. Imagine your favorite-est game in the world: great graphics, controls that respond better than anything you’ve used before, enemies with the greatest A.I and a story line that keeps you on the edge of the seat. Well… Superman games are NOTHING like that! In fact, they go in the exact opposite direction. It’s as if they round up the people who are worst at their various game-dev jobs, and tell them to make the most disappointing piece of shit ever. Compared to the Batman games that are winning multiple awards we are still wondering where the Man of Steel is. If we cross our fingers, maybe the Superman v Batman hype will eventually lead to a good game.

4."Infinity Ward is back... all of it... for good."

I know normally i say that in video games everyone has freedom of choice and all but if you don't think Modern Warfare 3 was the last good Call of Duty game just kill yourself. Right now! Just die in your chair. (Equip frag… Pull pin… Wait… Die!) The Call of duty games originally gained fame when they started and that propelled them into the market. Then one day someone decide to give fucking Treyarch a chance, then we got "the numbers mason what do they mean?" 

From then on, Call of Duty was never the same. Most people attribute it to the crushing of Infinity Ward à la lawsuit issues with the founders of Infinity Ward and one of said founders leaving the company for Activison. After that, Infinity Ward was pretty much done. They merged with Neversoft together they birthed Call of Duty: Ghosts which was just a scene for scene remake of MW3. Let’s hope we will one day see a return of the good old COD games.

5."We’re getting our shit together." -Marvel

 My saddest  Marvel-related moment in 2014 has to be from x-men first class where Magneto and Quicksilver literally find out that they are father and son but they can’t say it not because it’s part of the plot but because of… RIGHTS ISSUES!! Granted, they are trying to make changes, like getting Spider-Man for Civil War. Kudos Marvel! However, there so many improvements you guys could make instead of just cranking out as many star-studded movies as possible.

6."We’re bringing back Bleach.."

Never having gotten the chance to talk anime on this blog, I’m really excited to debut with Bleach- my personal favorite of all time. So a few years back, after Ichigo finally killed Aizen we were excited about finally seeing the greatest arc in history. Unfortunately, for NO REASON WHATSOEVER, it was cancelled. So instead of a complicated explanation I’m just going to say it... Please bring Bleach back. Please.

7. "Jumper 2 baaby!"

When I watched this movie I really wanted to be able to teleport and I was really looking forward to seeing the sequels they promised us. Then i heard that Jumper 2 would be about teleporting to other planets and moving through time and then i was like “Mehhh. I’d rather not. In fact I was so disappointed that I have started a mission to make everyone NEVER want it to happen. And with that… readers... The real number 7.

7."Half-life 3!!!''

If you didn't see this one coming you probably haven't been listening to last year’s gamer woes… or those of the year before that… or the year before that. This has to be the most requested game in all of history. There are literally more conspiracy theories about the fate of this game than there about artists being in the Illuminati. It would be a sin to even make a list of games people are looking forward to in any year without mentioning Half Life 3.

To prove just how in demand this game is I have finished talking about it without even telling you why people wanted it.

So maybe you don't want anything on this list or maybe I forgot to mention something you want. Sound off in the comments.

Half life 3 confirmed