You’re trying to do something meaningful on the internet. A few
minutes later, you find yourself watching a video on how to shave a giraffe.
Sound familiar? Most of you can relate. Sometimes when looking up things to
write about I’ll find super random sh* that is so awesome, but is not in line
with what I have planned for my next post. Seeing as my readers are the
bestest, most loyal readers ever, (bonus points for sucking up?) keeping this
stuff to myself would be, in every sense of the word, unjust. I thought to
myself, and decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to write about this stuff once in
a while. You know, to break the monotony. That being said, I shall now launch,
IN ALL ITS GLORY, a new periodical section:
Internet Deficit Hyperlinking Disorder
Definition: {noun} a condition describing an internet user’s strong
tendency to follow random links, fearing the entire internet will cease to
exist overnight. As a result, said user will want to see everything on the
internet, oblivious to the fact that this is impossible.
This trip starts off with the question: Are there
any African Superheroes? Obviously, the answer is yes, but when looking at the
list, one guy stood out. This was:
1. Askari The Spear
Jono Baraka is a character in the comic Excalibur, and is simply known as the “Protector
of Zanzibar”, able to wield the power of Mother Africa. I think the thing that
makes this hero shine more is that his color palette is actually of the Kenyan
flag (his neighboring country). Apart from that, he’s a member of Mutants
Without Borders (yes, that exists) and is the president of Zanzibar. Ladies, I
believe you have found the full package. He’s a really cool character that should
be expounded on.
All this talk about superheroes made me question the
word superhero itself, so I looked it up… and I found out that:
2. Marvel and D.C jointly “own” the word Superhero
I’m not a law expert, but the way it works, I
believe, is that the two have rights over the word superhero. Super hero,
super-hero and any other alteration/ combination of the words, should other
people try to use it, will result in a cease and desist letter from the two
giant companies. This explains why a lot of shows use words like ‘Heroes’, ‘Alphas’,
and ‘Metahumans’.
Comics and the law. Two things that you never really
think about in the same sentence.
What else might comics get mixed in with, you
ask. Well, comics plus music gives us:
3. Eminem VS The Punisher
It’s
not like we could have heard him through the pages, but Marshal Bruce Mathers
III somehow inked a deal that saw him work with The punisher himself, a.k.a
Frank Castle. One of the less known crossovers, it
was originally supposed to be a one off with two episodes, but was later
shortened to one copy which was dubbed "Kill You". Sadly, I have had
a hard time getting a copy. I couldn’t even find a torrent. Although I can’t
really give it a thumbs up or down, I will
say that it features Eminem and The Punisher so it must be good.
I told a hip-hop-head friend of mine about this
crossover and the prospect of undiscovered Eminem material made him scream like
a little girl. That not so well thought out segue brings us to number four:
4. Women that voice famous anime characters
This list pays tribute to the likes of Megumi Oata
who are women that have brought forth legendary characters such as Petz and Haruka Tenoh from Sailor Moon R and S respectively.
Other characters voiced by females include Monkey D Luffy from One Piece, Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto, Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, Tōshirō Hitsugaya
from Bleach, Lelouch Vi Britannia
form Code Geass and for the non-anime
fans there is Bart Simpsons from The Simpsons
and Phillip J Fry II from Futurama.
All this comic-talk reminds me of a funny anime
related story. Did you know that:
5. Batman Reads Anime
Well, it’s implied. The Martian Manhunter has been
known to go by quite a number of aliases, but one stood out most when he
revealed his (rather, her) name, and it shocked us even more when Batman
recognized it. Maybe we shouldn’t have been so shocked. He is, after all, the
world’s GREATEST detective. Right?
So anyway, J’onn J’onzz had been using the alias
Hino Rei. Ring a bell? Maybe for the watchers of Sailor moon it does. On that
show, Hino Rei is the Protector of Mars.
Her connection to Mars clearly shows why J’onn
picked it and Batman (obviously) recognized it because knows everything, but at
this point, am I the only one wondering what other things exist in the DC universe?
More specifically, what other things exist in the DC universe stores? Does
Batman read detective comics? Does he read about himself?
All this inception sh* drove me up the wall. I was
overthinking everything.
This brings me to a classic case of collective internet
overthinking:
6. Valve and their hate for threes
In an industry where you’re horrible, good or loved,
Valve is one company that has always stood out at being both good and loved. One of the main reasons for
their success is the excellent stewardship of the company by their millionaire,
sorry, billionaire founder Gabe Newell. Gabe is an interesting man, and there’s
something about him and the number three.
He seems to avoid it, which is ironic
seeing as he was born on November the 3rd. He would later drop out
of Harvard to help form Microsoft where he worked on Windows, Windows 2 and Windows
2.1 (no 3?). He went on to start Valve and his company picked his old habits, and none of their games have a third installment except counterstrike but they only developed two of them.
Maybe he should have just combined each to form one…
Like so:
7. PS4 and Xbox One combined into one gaming laptop
So… self-taught (why am I even in school if people
are teaching themselves this stuff?) engineer Eddie Zarick is having a regular
day. Then, he receives a request from a fan for a PS4 and Xbox One hybrid. “Coming
right up,” Zarick says, and creates the ‘Playbox’. Unfortunately, those who
actually give a damn about performance have nothing to be excited about since
both consoles maintain their individuality, with only one being able to work on
the attached 22-inch screen at a time. I would say the main advantage to this
thing is that you can set up and play without a TV, as you would normally need
for a console. Maybe that kind of portability is something that console gamers
can appreciate. The machine needs one power cord and the active console can be
chosen by flipping a red button at the back. So…1 Peasant box + 1 Peasant box =
Still 1 Peasant box?
Aaaaaaaaaand… that’s all I had for this post. Sound
off in the comments below. I encourage it.
